When I entered the Berlin hotel room in February 2016, it was almost like looking into a mirror. Opposite me, ready for our interview, stood actress and director Greta Gerwig. We were both wearing dark tops and had the exact same short hairstyle, hers blonde, mine brunette. A coincidence that confirmed what I had felt for years: Greta Gerwig and I would be best friends if we knew each other better. I have followed her career since its beginnings, when we were both in our low-budget indie film phase, she as a creative, I as a consumer.

Gerwig seemed so approachable, so real, very different from the Hollywood stars in the big films. Naturally, we got along excellently at our first personal meeting. That was in 2013, just before the hype wave around Frances Ha hit. And as my journalism career began, Gerwig‘s film career took off, in completely different dimensions, of course, but it still felt parallel. Gerwig, who is nine months younger than me, had her first, then her second child at the same time as I did, which strengthened our bond even more.

A bond that only I hold onto; our familiarity is an illusion. Gerwig probably completely forgot about me a few days after our two meetings. I don’t mind, I follow her from afar and still feel like she accompanies me, as I spend sleepless nights with the baby, experiment with clothes post-birth to see what fits best, and try to find time to read books. She still feels as close as she did back then, and when she gets nominated for a directing Oscar for Lady Bird or almost single-handedly saves the cinema with Barbie, it makes me really proud.

I am not alone in this illusion of familiarity with celebrities; psychologists call this phenomenon a 'parasocial relationship'. Many people have that one star they feel particularly connected to. Because they come from the same place, are of similar age, or were fans before the big fame and feel part of a small, tight-knit community. It is more than a crush, not something that makes us small and the star larger than life, but, emotionally, a relationship on equal footing. This 'friendship; enriches life; it is nice to check in regularly to see how the person is doing, to rejoice in their successes, and to discover new commonalities. To feel that even the big celebrities are just normal people. And who knows, maybe Greta and I will end up in a restaurant together someday, having a meal.